Tuesday, 14 December 2021 through Thursday, 25 January 2022
I guess it's easiest to divide these 6 weeks into 4 categories: my eyes, family, pets - especially Gracie, and trial run.
My eyes
Of course, the problem with my left eye was the reason I came back to Texas in the first place. I'd made an appointment with a retina specialist here on that first Tuesday, and then had 3 more appointments 2 weeks apart.
In that first appointment, I expected the doctor to agree with the Flagstaff doctors that I needed to have the fluid in my eye replaced ASAP. He didn't, for 3 reasons. First, he diagnosed the problem as being bleeding from an aneurysm in my eye and recommended that he laser it to stop the bleeding. Second, he said that once the bleeding was stopped, in most cases he'd encountered the blood would gradually sink to the bottom of my eye and would then gradually be absorbed into my body - thus clearing itself, over time. Third, I've had cataracts for some years now, but they've developed so slowly that I haven't even noticed them, let alone needed to have them removed. But the doctor said if he did the fluid replacement the Flagstaff guys had recommended, I'd be needing cataract surgery within the next year.
I don't want to deal with those cataracts any sooner than absolutely necessary, so that was a good argument against the fluid replacement. But on the other hand, my body often doesn't follow the usual-case scenarios that other people have, so I couldn't have much confidence in it with this situation. I finally told him I wanted him to wave a magic wand and make it all better right now. (I really did say that, and I really did want that.) So he picked up an instrument off the table and told me it was his magic wand (he really did) and used it to look into my eye again and said he was willing and able to do the fluid replacement if I insisted, but he honestly recommended that I go the patient, conservative route. He told me this was my opportunity to learn patience. (He really did.) And he was right. Patience has never been my forte. And I appreciated him being so good about listening to me, which doctors don't always do. So I followed his advice.
That first session, he said there was too much blood pooled around the aneurysm for him to be able to get a good shot with the laser and said we should wait 2 weeks to give it a chance to clear out. I didn't want to wait 2 weeks but I did want him to have a clear view of the aneurysm so he could plug it up. After 2 weeks, the situation was much better but still not as good as he wanted to be sure the surgery would be successful. Each visit, he took photos of the inside of my eye so I could see for myself what he was looking at, and I didn't have to take it all on faith. The 3rd visit, he shot a laser at the aneurysm (and I can't tell you what an act of faith it was for me to let him do it). And then the 4th visit, he showed me the photos that proved the blood was dissipating and sinking out of my line of vision.
By the 4th visit, I'd been able to see a difference for myself. I still had squiggly lines cluttering up my vision, but they weren't nearly as black as before and the lines were thinner than before, and they weren't cluttering up what I could see anywhere near as much.
He told me to have it checked in about 3 months, wherever I happen to be then, to be sure everything was okay on the inside. I don't suppose many of you reading this will want to avail yourselves of the services of a retina specialist in Plano, TX, but his name is Dr. Musa Abdelaziz, at the Retina Center of Texas, and I can recommend him without any reservation. He knows what he's doing, he's experienced, he listens to his patients, and he has a sense of humor. Hard to beat that combination.
Family
We'd all hoped that I'd only need to be in town for a week or two, that that's all it would take to get the fluid replacement done and recovered from. So at first we kept our various reservations for the Christmas we'd planned to spend in Tucson. But after my 1st eye appointment, with the 2nd one not being until the 28th, we reluctantly canceled everything and moved our Christmas expectations back here. It was a disappointment for sure, and I wished David and Anna could have gone on to Arizona anyway and left me to deal with this problem of mine. But I was grateful that they didn't, because I'd have had a hard time of coping by myself.
Aside from everything else, at each visit the eye doctor dilated my pupils so thoroughly that, with the bright Texas sun, I couldn't really see much of anything, let alone cope with the insane Texas traffic getting back to their house from the doctor's office. David very generously took me to all the appointments and waited for me and took me back to their house afterwards.
Anna had decorated for Christmas as usual, though not really as usual because usually she really goes all out. This year they hadn't expected to be here for a week or more over Christmas so she'd been fairly restrained in putting up decorations. Still, it was all very festive to me, since I don't do any decorating at all in the RV because of usually being on the road for much of the holiday period.
I can't say enough about the generosity of my family. They gave up their travel plans, they took in an anxious grumpy person (me) and 2 bouncy ones (the dogs) and an erratic one (Lily) and let us take over the house, they fed us and entertained us and gave the critters a lot of extra attention that they loved. They rearranged their schedule to accommodate the fact that I usually go to bed about the time they usually sit down to dinner. And they did it all without a hint that we were causing problems, though of course we were. I'm not this generous and I'm so grateful that they are.
To try to minimize angst among their homeowners association over my RV, the critters and I moved into their house altogether and parked the RV in the community center parking lot. They said there'd still be people who'd get upset, but the current association president is a reasonable guy who was understanding about the emergency-medical-problem situation that brought me here in the first place. And I spent most of the last 2 weeks at a state park while I was waiting for that last doctor appointment, so I only ended up being an RV presence in the neighborhood for a month. More than some folks wanted, I'm sure, but David kept the president informed and the prez apparently explained it to the board as a "surely no one would have a problem about an emergency like this" scenario, so no one did. Nice guy.
I spent that whole month being anxious and trying to learn patience and not being able to think of anything other than wanting my eye to get well. So I read Nancy Drew books and Mrs. Pollifax books (nothing that required much brain) and ate. I gained about 8 pounds (really) in that period, just worrying and sitting and eating - with, of course, several dog walks a day. But this neighborhood is pretty flat so the dog walks didn't do much for aerobic exercise.
Pets, mostly Gracie
About the 2nd thing Anna said when we all first got into their house was that the dogs were in desperate need of a bath. You know how it is, I was used to it and hadn't really noticed, but I trusted her sense of smell over mine - and anyway she was putting up with the dogs and she shouldn't have to put up with them being stinky besides. So we got them into a grooming place during that first week, and I'm sure we were all happier for it. It's always nicer to pat a clean dog than a dirty one. We'd just come from Flagstaff where both dogs spent a lot of time rolling around in dirt and pine needles, so baths made a difference.
The vet in Flagstaff, who'd thought Gracie might have a kidney problem, told me to get her blood checked again after a month to see how she was doing. So I took her back to the doctor who'd seen her last May when she had the stroke, figuring at least he'd have some records on her. He did a blood test and said nope, her kidneys weren't a problem, and in fact all the readings were normal. He suggested I start giving her glucosamine again, as I used to do before I adopted Dexter. Back then, she was acting like arthritis was a problem for her and was having trouble getting up the steps at Momma's house. The glucosamine helped her joints a lot, but after she started running around and playing with Dexter, she didn't seem to need it any more. But that was then. The vet thought since she's now almost 12, the pills might help keep her from falling down as she's still occasionally doing.
Less than 2 weeks later, that all changed. We moved back into the RV on a Friday, and on Sunday morning Gracie could hardly stand up. She was willing to go out for a walk, but I had to lift her in and out of the RV because she couldn't do the stairs herself. And her legs were just sort of all over the place. She was able to get into positions so she could eliminate waste, which was reassuring, but it was about all the control she had over her body.
That situation went on for several days. I'd waited, hoping it was an aberration and she'd soon be back to her usual slightly geriatric self again. But by Tuesday, she was not only not improved, but she hadn't eaten a bite since this all started Sunday morning. I've known her to not eat for most of 2 days straight, but this was in its 3rd day and I was worried. I was ready to drive down to Austin to take her to our regular vet who I trusted. But when I called them, they reminded me that they don't do blood work any more and that's probably what she needed for diagnosis purposes. They said I should call around the Cedar Hill area to find someone who'd take us.
Lots of vets in that vicinity but not many were able to fit in a new patient, or at least not without waiting a few more days. Several suggested I take her to the emergency vet clinic in Midlothian, which wasn't far down the road from the state park, so that's what I did. I'm sure they did charge more, but I couldn't see that I had a choice.
I took Gracie twice to that vet clinic, and she saw 2 different vets (they rotate which ones are on duty). Both concluded that, without getting an MRI to confirm, their best guess was that Gracie has a brain tumor. This particular tumor is influencing the part of her brain that governs her sense of balance (among other things). They gave her anti-nausea pills and anti-dizziness pills, figuring that she couldn't walk right because she was dizzy and that she didn't want to eat because she was nauseous from being dizzy. I don't know if they're right about the tumor, but they were sure right about the other stuff because those pills made all the difference in Gracie's behavior.
They said there are only 2 MRIs in the DFW area that are for dogs. I called one of them, and they told me it'd cost me more than $800, and they couldn't even fit us in until May. And as Anna pointed out, even if I got the test, that would only tell me if she had a tumor. Since I certainly wouldn't be funding brain surgery for my elderly dog, where was the point? It's been several years since every vet who's seen her has mentioned that she could use a dental cleaning but was too old to sedate for it. If she can't even be sedated for her teeth, it'd clearly be too much risk to sedate her for brain surgery. As if I could afford it anyway.
As I understand it, a dog has a likely life span of about another 6 to 12 months after they've been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Gracie hasn't technically been diagnosed with one, but I'm acting as if she has. She'll be 12 in February, and that's a standard life span for a lab. She's still happy and willing to play and enjoying walks. She doesn't seem to be in any pain. The tumor is likely what's been causing her to fall over suddenly, so that's explained too. And since that's been going on since maybe last October, the vets figured the other possible explanation - an inner ear problem - wasn't the cause. They said an inner ear problem is usually short-term and clears up fairly quickly, whereas this has been going on for months.
So my new job as pet owner is to make her last few months as comfortable as possible. Which is anyway what I try to do for my pets. So there we are.
Trial run
After a month of being a slug and imposing on the good nature of my brother and sister-in-law, I desperately wanted to get back into the RV and get moving again. So after my 3rd eye doctor appointment, I did just that in a limited way. I was still a little afraid of driving because I still had those squiggles in my eye, and I still didn't want to drive in Dallas-area traffic with squiggles in my eye, but they were better and I needed to get my feet back on the ground, so to speak.
Turns out it was a good idea for more reasons than just wanting to be on my own again. I moved things slowly out of David and Anna's house, trying to get each load put away where it all belonged before bringing the next load. I remember when I moved out after staying here for 6 weeks last year, we just dumped everything into the RV leaving me to sort it out later. That time the whole cabin was a mess for a couple of days while I gradually got everything put where it belonged.
The problem is that this is a very small space, and I have enough belongings to store here to see me through year-round living in a variety of climates. That means that everything's got a specific place where it lives, because otherwise I'd never be able to find anything at all and have to spend all my time looking for stuff.
So putting things away bit by bit was a good idea, but the problem turned out to be that, after a month away, with my brain not doing anything but waiting for my eye to heal, I couldn't remember where everything went. I did the best I could, and over the next couple of days I was able to put things where they went when I did it on autopilot. Muscle memory and all that. Weird, really.
The first afternoon was hot and I was glad I'd bummed a bag of ice cubes from my family so I could fix a cold drink in the evening. But the next morning, and for the next couple of days, a serious cold front blew through, complete with 23° wind chill readings even as late as 10 AM. Then we had nice warm temps for a couple of days, followed by a couple of days of afternoon high temps in the upper 30s.
Once when I was walking the dogs, I passed a couple who said they'd just seen 2 bobcats cross the road, one after the other. They were very excited about it, of course, since bobcats aren't a common sight for non-rural dwellers. Just as well we missed them, because of no reason to get Dexter all riled up.
I ran some errands in Cedar Hill - filled up with propane at the local U-Haul, did laundry, bought groceries, found a couple of parks for the dogs to walk in - like that. Gracie, of course, was my big worry, and I spent much of my time this week trying to take care of her.
On the way back to my family's house, I did a pile of errands. I went up to McKinney to the Collin County Office of Elections to sign up in person for an absentee ballot, because I'd heard about so many of those applications being rejected for not being filled out right that I wanted to have an elections official check mine over. That actually turned out to be the right thing to do, because I didn't fill it out the way she wanted me to, and I had to correct it.
I stopped by my storage unit, the grocery store, a liquor store, the CVS to pick up another month's worth of blood pressure meds, the bank for more gasoline cash, the recycling drop-off in Richardson, a PetsMart, and the 1st vet clinic to pick up the copy of the doctor's report that they kept promising me they'd sent but it never having showed up. Lots of running around but easier to do here where I know where some things are.
On Tuesday the 25th I went to my 4th eye doctor appointment, and on the 26th finally got back on the road.
When I was first planning my travels, I expected to spend just over 4 years going from one state to another. I didn't expect a global pandemic, I didn't expect a deep freeze in North Texas, I didn't expect stomach flu and mechanical difficulties, and I didn't expect serious medical problems. Now it's been 4 years, and I still have more than a year of traveling to go. I'm sorry for the interruptions, but I'm not at all thinking of just quitting. I won't be going to Hawaii, of course, and I've decided I just can't afford Alaska as part of this trip, but even after I finish Arizona I still have 13 more states plus Washington, DC. Places I haven't spent any real time in and want to see. So I'll keep on keeping on, and try to avoid dumping myself on my sweet family again. Surely I can do another year without trouble?
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